Big ass rant

Before I rant, which I will do in one moment, I have a few things I need to say.

First off, business, I will soon be making portraits for people on Ebay to buy. You know, portraits of dogs, and kids, and girlfriends, and grandparents and shit like that. It may sound like some kind of lower form of art in comparrison to the "fine-art" that I have done in the past, but I am really looking forward to it. It sounds relaxing, and it will do well to suppliment my income in place of my former art handling career. For the next few weeks I will be building up a small portfolio of maybe 5 or so portraits. I am going to do one of my son, and two others for family. If any Crateart reader would like one, I will be offering a special rate to friends and family this one time only. The portraits will be done in watercolor, and will be expertly created from a photograph. I do really good watercolor work (examples available), and I will guarantee my work. If interested, send me an email at info@crateartist.com. Until the first 5 are done, I will be selling these portraits for $50 a piece, or $100 framed. After that, the price goes up to $200 or $250 framed.

Second, I have tried very hard to keep this blog professional and positive. I'm getting tired of it. I have come to the conclusion that it is an act to sell and promote artwork and I am no longer interested in it. Lately I have felt that my work is about something, something that can no longer "walk the line" of the offical artist rulebook. In the end, I do not care if I never show or sell another work. I am not the Froot-Loop guy, I am a Crateartist. What I make is inconsistent, silly, wierd, and unconventional. It is not in style, but as it is I have never in my life been in style. With that said, I believe that Crateart is moving out of the realm of gallery art into some other realm that is not yet defined. The Crateart realm. I dispise galleries and gallery owners and people who go to galleries, and anyway the move is not that distant a travel.

I wrote a new artist statement, I hope everyone enjoys it. It goes a little something like this:

"I am wealthy and very good-looking. September 11^th, 2001. My work is about the war in Iraq and the gap between rich and poor in our society. No blood for oil. George Bush’s presidency is the worst and he is a puppet president controlled by wealthy warmongers.

The day after September 10^th, 2001 is September 11^th, 2001. My work is about September 11^th, 2001. My work is not about Palestine or Israel, so don’t worry, bring your checkbook. No, its about September 11^th, 2001. And Iraq. And Bush. And a civilization which wastes too many natural resources for the sake of greedy war-monger’s pocket books. Jeff Koons. 1002, ht11 rebmetpeS. The price of Gasoline is choking farmers all around the country. My art is about our need to use technology to put and end to farmer choking. I am wealthy, and extremely good-looking, but in a rebellious, tattooed kind of way.

My artwork is about my inner soul. The conflict of being a woman inside a man in a world ruled by men and women. Its about the passion of being creative. The romantic urge that cannot be stopped. It consumes me like a sport utility vehicle consumes a gallon of gasoline. It consumes me like a lollypop is consumed by a rich white man, who earlier stole that lollypop from a poor food stamp black baby. Mary Boone.

In 1838 the Cherokee were stripped of their rights and forced to move against their will on The Trail of Tears. I am part Cherokee. I do not make art for money or use Froot Loops because they seem funny; I do it because George Bush is a bastard and September 11^th, 2001. And because I am wealthy and good-looking. Leipzig Painters and YBAs. Mel Gibson. Post-Neo-Ultra-Conceptual- Dada-Realism. Post-Modern-Pop-Minimalist-Juju Bean-Jujitsu.

If you are Jewish, I like Israel. If not, I secretly loathe it. Bring your checkbook. I am responsible for September 11^th, 2001 and so is everybody else, most of all George Bush. I was isolated and lonely once, but my work is nothing about that personal shit, just September 11^th, 2001. I don’t do drugs anymore, but I still have a rock-star body and some gelastic hair. My art will one day save the world. You will be able to eat it like water. You will be able to use it in your cars instead of gasoline. Its not for the money, its for the passion and for a greater understanding of what happened on September 11^th, 2001, an understanding that only I, as an artist, can provide, selflessly, to all of humanity. Everyone knows Andy Warhol, but not everyone knows Vik Muniz, so I’ma smarty too. And rich. And good-looking. I am tall white and skinny, just like everybody else."

Well, write me a reply, I would love to hear what people thought of that. More blogs soon to come, stay tuned fellow Crateartists.

-Mike

Website Update 2

Crateartist.com has been undergoing some changes lately as my Webdesign master, DJ Brungard, updates it. Please visit http://www.crateartist.com if you haven't already to see current and past works, a bio, an artist's statement on the early history of Crateart, and links to other wonderful artists. There is still more work to be done on the Crateartist.com update, but most of the update is complete. Keep returning to see changes in the next few days.

I highly suggest to friends that, unless they have well crafted web-design skills, to hire a website designer. There are a million examples of bad artist websites, and in today's market, the website is usually the first display of your work viewed. Mark Sisson, a former professor of mine from OSU, once told me that you can make the best painting and screw it up by taking a bad slide. Today, you can have a wonderful body of work and its only worth the website you display it on. DJ Brungard has a link on Crateartist.com.

Press and Transport Tip

Binge and Purge ended this weekend, and yesterday I went to the gallery to reclaim “Froot Loop Chuck”. The show got a brief mention in the New York Times Friday, July 28^th in an article by Roberta Smith titled “Chelsea Is a Battlefield: Galleries Muster Groups”. Also, the show got a brief mention, as did myself and Chuck who were mentioned by name, in Time Out New York July 27^th – August 2^nd Magazine in its art listings (page 76). Two small mentions in two big papers, it’s a good start.

Aside from press, I found a new gem for young artists living in NYC. I would like to recommend using “Man with a Van” services for art transport if you are looking to cut costs. You can find the numbers to man/van services all over the city on telephone poles and laundry mat bulletin boards, or by going to http://www.craigslist.org. Unless you require a large box truck, these guys will haul you for about the same price as a Uhaul rental except you don’t have to pay for gas, or navigate your truck through the city.